Really trying to get past right and wrong here. When right and wrong exist it’s really easy to feel BAD. When they don’t, it’s really much easier to correct things you don’t like.
So back to the headline.
You don’t want to say hello to me? Fuck you, I’m saying it.
Is it TIRING saying hello to people all day?
OR are you sick of greeting me for the tenth time today as we frequent the same alley taking the same shortcut?
Too bad.
It’s actually not hard to say hello ten times. It’s not hard at all. So all you “Hello” fatigue-ers. Start training that bored half-smile for more frequent use.
You can do it: Get your eyes into it.
Is it awkward to say hello to someone again and again as you walk to the same trash can? no it’s not. That can is a gathering place.
EVERY SECOND THIS LIFE IS NEW.
And we’re just sitting around saying: wow, this miracle is awkward.
Don’t acknowledge my existence too many times.
I prayed and prayed and prayed on this. I prayed until my fingernails bled.
There is only ONE right answer.
It’s not awkward at all to say hello over and over again to the same person in one day in the same general vicinity.
SO here’s a scenario for you, just something to loosen you up:
Imagine you are in an airport and you are waiting to board a flight. You are bored waiting for boarding and you accidentally look at someone and they do the same. So you say “hello” in an-
Oopies Daisy! I looked at you kinda way.
Pardon me.
Then later, on the airplane, you step on their ankle a little and you say hello again and maybe a little apology.
I looked at you and now I’m stepping on you, hello. We’re really connecting now. It’s me again. har-har
Then you land and you’re in a completely different country and you’re around the baggage claim waiting, accidentally looking at people again.
YOU’RE IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY, MAN.
JUST SAY HELLO. SAY IT PROUDLY!!
Do you think that person is gonna think you’re stalking them? Now is your chance to prove to them you can say hello to someone thrice and not follow them back to their hotel.
It’s just friendliness, man. We don’t have to be friends. You could just LET THEM KNOW:
We’re not friends, alright? I’m just a Hello kinda person. We’re celebrating the miracle, man.
This happens to me a lot. I smile and wave and it’s like waving at a wall. I get nothing back. They don’t even look at me.
But who is really losing here?
Seriously? Who is losing? Feel free to comment and let me know.
David Sedaris, you know a writer, He moved to France just because he doesn’t want to say hello to anyone. What side of history is he on?
Well he doesn’t live in France anymore. He left because they wouldn’t give him change at the cash register.
Don’t tell me those things aren’t related. No smiles, no change.
There is no limit to how many times you can say hello to someone in a day. Just ask a baby.
“The rainbow does not come to you. You actually have to move around to find it. If you cannot see the rainbow, move yo ass.” - Ava K Lamb
Imma sharpen that Monday for ya.
I hope you enjoy this portrait of a my sister’s guinea pig that I spent countless hours on, really just for my own enjoyment.
I should have given it to her, but I didn’t.
Some people say it evokes primitive Eric Carl vibes. I keep asking people if they like it waiting to believe them when they say, yes.
The answer that hurts the most, If I’m being honest, is—
“My wife paints too.”
One man told me the painting reminds me of his motherland where his brother ate a guinea pig just to get back to his roots.
I liked that answer.
Please enjoy this Monday. As you WILLFULLY ignore my advice that you should say hello to your office-mates hundreds of times today, just remember…
You’re making a lot of choices you didn’t realize you’re making.
Some of these are very wise.
BUT Don’t pretend, when someone confronts you on the hundreds of snubs today, that I didn’t warn you.
I would also like to acknowledge my production team, Tesla.
Tesla frequently helps me tame and contour this newsletter to maximum effect. The problem is sometimes she is sleeping and one slips out. That’s what happened here.
She’s not even getting paid. I keep trying to tell her to sell crafts on here but she’s too tired. She’s taking months to set up her workshop. Months.
I think she moves one workshop item from it’s box per month.
One sparkle. One googly eye. One doll hand.
MOVE FASTER TESLA, the world needs your crafts.
When do you really need performance artists? When the ship is sinking.
REMEMBER THAT TOO. You don’t have to take notes. I just wrote it down.
Don’t worry we are still working on enhancing this newsletter, whether or not you get arrested for “hello” harassment today.
make it count.
xox
Ava K
So good
I will try 2 find! ;)