I keep going past an inspirational plaque and thinking it reads, Everything is Forgettable. It doesn’t really say that, but it gets me thinking; for one thing it’s unusual for a plaque to be so candid. People get pretty into expressing what they will never forget and are reluctant to admit that they will forget almost everything else. Even things that a person will “never forget” probably will need a pretty big reminder, hence the bumper stickers and ballads dedicated to not forgetting something.
Tie that yellow ribbon around that old oak tree. How many years has it been again?
And in the comments of this song on YOUTUBE is mostly people talking about someone this song makes them remember.
“Soon, you will have forgotten everything. Soon, everybody will have forgotten you.”
―Marcus Aurelius
It makes sense that we would like to reward great sacrifices with great remembrance, but we can’t guarantee it. We often fail at it. That can be hurtful. What happens after a great sacrifice?
We interpret the result as a reward.
I do this for you and you REWARD ME WITH THIS!!?
Common song of the “betrayed” .
It is right to reward our heroes, but it truly is impossible to fully thank someone for something that has given them great harm. It could be impossible to fully thank someone for a great sacrifice especially if they are not giving feedback about what would be adequate thanks. Thanking someone is really abstract.
I can’t think of anything that I have ever done that could warrant a plaque. It isn’t that I haven’t been good, but I haven’t been impactful enough to expect someone to read about me on a little sign. If lucky we will get one on our gravesite, a plaque that appreciates anyone if you have what it takes to pay for it.
Because I am alive, I have some appreciation when people forget about me, like close family members or friends. It gives me that special chance, that time machine window, to see what it’s like in real life, real alive life, when I will be dead and someone forgets about me a lot or always. It’s tricky to get used to but it is overtly practical to take advantage of the sneak peek into fading away from “reality”.
“Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left and live it properly. What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness.”
― Marcus Aurelius
IT is a gift to witness someone you love forget about you in real time. I’m sure someone will find that assertion insulting but, just because it’s a gift doesn’t mean it is all good. Someone can give you a car, a wonderful car. They can give it for free, but the car probably has some sort of negative impact on the earth or the laborers. The car is probably bad. The car is also good! The best thing ever (to you ) (for about a week). You may need the car so it’s good.
The gift of realizing you can be forgotten by loved ones has a downside but it is best to look at the up side if you really don’t have much of a choice anyway. At least that’s how I see it.
“Here is a rule to remember in future, when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not "This is misfortune," but "To bear this worthily is good fortune.”
― Marcus Aurelius
The fact is, being forgotten doesn’t make you bad or not good enough. It doesn’t make you not memorable even. It’s just really how it pans out sometimes.
pan
a : to wash in a pan for the purpose of separating heavy particles
b: to separate (a substance, such as gold) by panning
I have a friend, one of my earliest friends, I have recently reconnected with. I love reminiscing with her. The funny thing is she doesn’t remember anything. So I am reminiscing and she is saying, “Wow, I don’t remember any of that.”
One way memory lane is still really fun for me. She reminds me, by just being there, of all the stuff we used to do. It did occur to me as it really sunk in that she doesn’t remember anything, I could pretty much make up anything and feed it to her as a memory. I would never do that, I really wouldn’t, but the realization was kind of scary and powerful. I can see how the wrong person could take advantage of such an opportunity as I am sure they are not so rare.
Our memories are really just MY memories, and it is tempting to conflate that. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem put off.
So one may wonder how I would like to be remembered (by anyone or thing that may possibly remember me) since I am so open to being forgotten.
I’m surprised I can even answer this, I really am.
I would like to be remembered as a good feeling.
The thought of it actually brings tears to my eyes.
I know it’s kind of lofty of a goal.
Being remembered as a person who did this or a person who knew that, that is a was. If someone feels good when they remember me, that’s alive. A plus could be that maybe they could also just feel good without my memory being involved too.
“You are a little soul carrying about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say.”
― Marcus Aurelius
Like Epictatus used to say,
“If you wish to be a writer, write.”
Epictetus
Have a fantastic day. I hope that you are inspired to forget your name.
But not WHEN YOU SIGN DEM CHECKS!!
LOVE
XOX
ava K
Well, I certainly have a good feeling about you and you are not even dead yet. And most of my relatives who are dead, I also have good feelings about and regularly send them those good feelings even as they are already souls floating around in the other dimension, which is pretty cool, even if many people might forget you, you get messages along the proverbial grapevine, even as a soul. (And since Marcus Auralius mentions that we are corpses with souls, that's reaffirmation that they exist, who the heck MA I have no clue.)
And that is hilarious that your friend requires your memories to reacquaint her with the events of your past. That's a good soul, I mean corpse, I mean..... never mind......
Love it!
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.“ Maya Angelou