About a week ago I got an anonymous package from Home Depot. Inside was KN95 masks, two metal clips, and a fine point black permanent marker. It seemed so intentional, so specific. No one I knew owned up to sending it and I was a little bit spooked.
Maybe whoever sent it is mocking me for having strep throat.
“Don’t pass around your illness, little lady. Signed, the public health.”
Maybe it’s my doctor because I left a scathing review online for the puppy mill for doctors that he works in. I knew that was a bad idea. But I didn’t put him down, maybe just his standards.
That would violate HIPAA? Not worth it.
Maybe my boss sent it in a passive aggressive way to tell me not to miss any more work.
“Get to work, bitch, and wear this mask. Use this fucking marker. Clip it to your shirt.”
Maybe one of you sent it? I have no idea why.
Yesterday I was sent a package from Walmart Plus (plus what?) with delivery notifications to my phone. It updated me as the bastard package crept closer.
Oh no, not another mysterious package. I can’t take it.
Another thing that was weird was when I texted my husband to ask if HE ordered something from Walmart (very unlikely btw) he was at Walmart that very moment with the children.
It was suddenly as if WALMART ITSELF was stalking me.
Did Walmart send me a package because my husband was there? Can that happen? Like a threshold trigger.
When I got home I opened the package from Walmart and it was an expensive big pack of Blue Buffalo Dog Treats.
Maybe someone is mocking me for rehoming our dog after it bit the kids several times unexpectedly. Oh so cruel. Who would do that?
Maybe someone is suggesting I should eat dog treats. Because I’m lowly?
My daughter suggested it’s a teenager doing a prank. No teenager would ever send me anything. There’s no way.
If I were to mockingly send dog treats, I would send the cheap kind; Milk Bone, maybe store brand. Who would throw money away like this? And the worst part is, another package is coming. I got the text alert. Immediately after this one was delivered (delivered eerily quickly may I add), someone was there sending me something else.
I was busy right then, making up work like the masks wanted me to, so I called Walmart that night.
That’s true desperation, calling Walmart.
The operator, she was lovely. I think she was relieved not to just be dealing with another person who didn’t get their shit, but to be dealing with a bonafide mystery. Someone who was scared, someone who only wanted answers.
I gave her the order number.
“Do you know anyone named, Pat?”
pause
Yes I do. That’s my mother.
We both laugh with amusement and some relief.
Oh, mother.
She must have sent them on accident because she sent my daughter something recently.
“Also, some iced tea is on the way.”
So I called my mother right away and she said the dog treats were supposed to go to my Uncle. My poor uncle who has dementia, in Arizona, in an RV, he’s there waiting for dog treats and iced tea, the special kind he likes, and it’s not coming. My mom typed in his address and everything but they still went to me.
Here I was, thinking about myself. Thinking about someone out to get me with dog treats and masks. Metal clips…and a marker.
And there my uncle is, waiting for dog treats and ice tea in a trailer.
This is a lesson to us all.
Is it?
But let me know in the comments if you sent me the stuff from Home Depot. Actually, I forgot to ask my mom about it—-But she reads this newsletter.
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day.
"Old Man's Advice to Youth: 'Never Lose a Holy Curiosity.'" LIFE Magazine (2 May 1955) p. 64”
― Albert Einstein
For 6 months, my girlfriends ex husband was recieving a gift of womens Tena overnight XL leakage pads... My Mom enjoyed the gracious gift from xhusband of GF via AMAZON. We questioned not.
Well, for sure I did not send the marker, mask and clips, but I am glad the dog treats and iced tea mix at least made it to someone I know ( I in fact got the dog treats from Ava , luckily they are Bobo's favorite) I am hoping I did not accidentally join Walmart Plus, who knows. Walmart works in mysterious ways. And I sent my uncle more ice tea mix from Sam's Club, maybe it will get there!!??