Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s tongs.
There’s a hole in her life, and it can only be filled using tongs.
Long, long ago, neighbors long past—our neighbors came over to eat dinner, a family of four. The wife member of this neighbor passel ogled my tongs so hard when it was time to eat and I removed hot food from hot places.
She sat in regret of how many tongs I had and how many varieties. I had several, I admit, many more than most, and I did receive them in good fortune, of privilege, no cost to myself. Never before had kitchen tongs felt like an indicator of quality of life until I saw her face. She fell into an abyss; Sadness, longing, confusion, betrayal. All because I had so many more kitchen tongs than she did. Her eyes turned black with lack.
Of course, I quickly changed the subject. Concealed a few tongs under a kitchen towel. Got her a drink of water.
Since then I think back on that moment often and wonder why there was a hole is her so deep, so steamy, and so hot that only a variety of tongs could fill it. The silicone covered, the locking handles, the scalloped edges, the short and the long, it’s something she could not replace with anything else.
Me and this woman, we are no longer friends, we are more than a tong length apart. In fact, many times before she moved away she passed me without even saying hi. Of course, I hate her. Still I think of her, and I hope that she made a collection of tongs a priority in her life now, whether she bought them herself or she finally told those around her what she really needed.
LMAO, this is so twisted, relatable and hilarious. 'Of course, I hate her' really sealed the deal for me. Well done
How on Earth do you get the inspirations for your inspirations? Tong covets! I think this is bound to become an epidemic as it just feels like it can creep into millions of people's lives and take hold. Taking over their minds and emotions, walling them off from friends and family, especially those with extensive tong collections, such as yourself. I am going to take heed and hide most of my tongs so they are not so obviously displayed and perhaps I can sidestep the impending cavalcade of tong coveting individuals. To be forewarned is to be prepared.... Thank you, Ava!